The beginning

It's the 1st of Jan 2010 and it's a new beginning for me, djin_bleu. As with every year many of us will attempt new years resolutions even if it just serves to make us feel like we have an aim, a goal. I am no different and will be trying to cultivate some of my less favourable qualities into something productive.

This is my choice of weblog for the year, these are my thoughts and the thoughts of many of my facets which I believe we all have. The resolutions I am trying to whittle down to are based on being able to cope with not be happy at times, in a strange way that could be unhealthy and impossible but sometimes it feels like I have spent just too much time avoiding being happy and it's not fair on me, some people feel it's ok to disrespect themselves and I do at times but that has to stop, this body didn't ask to have my mind and therefore I should treat him nicer, god knows he deserves better.

Happiness and enlightenment through travel possibly could be two things I would set as goals. I used to travel so much a few years back albeit because of my ex but being a lazy person I have neglected that side of me, maybe because of lack of companionship but lingering like this is shutting me down as though if I am stagnant then I die inside a little and so I will stop just talking about doing things and just do them.

My body feels so old now, it's too hard to take at the moment as I have always been used to being very able bodied, energetic and strong but I know it's just a state of mind, feeling old is when it goes wrong and I'm a firm believer in mind over matter. The mind and spirit can energise the body so this to me is an indicator that I have to clean up my mind, it's deeply restricting me so things should be changed around.

Been reading a book at the moment and so many different takes on things in there which is worth knowing. One interesting thing I read today was of the Pagan festivals that are now occupied by Christmas, the yuletide festival when the Holly King gives way to the Oak King and thus presents the children with presents etc, similar story don't you think? We all know that 1st - 25th of December is the winter solstice, the time when the sun is at it's lowest in the sky and then it resurrects..abit like another kind of sun/son? I just thought it was such a shame that generations of children had grown up not knowing the old customs of this Country but everything changes doesn't it? If you look back into different parts of our History you realise that things have always been changing, old to new customs, history, people, cultures and it's so hard to nail down an absolute truth and so you feel like you are lost the more you find out.

Well there is so much more to come from me this year, new experiences and many more people to meet and connect with. So much to do and so much to overcome, this is the year for it.